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"Yellow House and the Science of Losing with Style"

Every secondary school in Nigeria had Inter-House Sports that one day in second term when the whole school turned into a stadium, carnival, and federal embarrassment all at once. This one personal for me because I be Yellow house citizen. But no matter the school whether na Hussey College, Dom Domingo, or any other one mystery still dey remain: Why Yellow House dey always carry last? 1. The House Spirit No Dey House Red House dey shout. Blue House dey form. Green House dey train since January. Yellow House? We Yellow go just show face with two whistles, one cracked megaphone, and half-hearted chants like: “Yellow! Yellow!!” Crowd: (Cricket sounds) Even our Yellow House teachers dey pretend say dem no belong. Na dem dey clap for other houses. 2. Their Athletes Na Trial and Error Red dey bring born athletes. Blue dey recruit from football team. Yellow go line up: That boy wey tall but slow That fine girl wey sabi slay but no sabi run That JSS3 boy wey only fast whe...
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“Ball na Life” – The Gospel of Street Football in 9ja

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All about street football ( set, monkey post, winner stays, and “last card!” with passion ). Wetin be childhood for Naija if you no play ball for street? Before PS5 and FIFA online , there was monkey post . Na cement block be pole, slippers be marker, and one worn-out plastic ball na national treasure. Welcome to street football , the unofficial sport of every Nigerian street, from Ekpan to Ebute Metta. Before the Game: Na Battle Just to Start First wahala? Find ball. If nobody get original Tango ball , na to contribute N10 each for feather-light plastic one wey dey fly like balloon . And if ball burst, everybody go shout "who go buy another one?!" One other valid option that time nah snake fruit. Then come team selection . If you be the smallest or just dey start, na last pick be your fate. Unless you be that small boy wey sabi dribble like Okocha, then even the big boys go dey beg to get you on their side.  But if you get ball, nah you be captain and nah you go cho...
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Welcome to How to be a Nigerian – Where Every Naija Palava Na Vibe

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Wetin dey sup? If you dey read this tori, then you don jam correct blog wey go carry you go memory lane, back to those days of  knockout during Christmas ,  pure water fights for school , and  NEPA don take light again!   Welcome to How to be a Nigerian,  where we share  Stories from 9ja , a place where we go yarn the tori of wetin e mean to grow, hustle, and survive in the green-white-green jungle wey we dey call Nigeria. This no be your regular blog oh, because I be original wafi pikin. This one na for the real 9ja pikin dem from the ones wey chop  hot slap  for not greeting elders, to those wey still dey battle  JAMB wahala  and  ASUU strike . Whether you dey Lagos traffic dey shout “ Oga shift small now! ” or you dey Port Harcourt dey dodge flood like Olympics, your story get space here. From  early morning flogging to morning devotion  (wey be like torture session), to  sneaking out to watch African Magic  w...
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